I cannot sleep this morning, so I have taken to the internet. I went on Flickr. I'm not familiar with it, but I like to go to things like that and type in my name and see if something will pop up. Pictures from a show or something. I don't know, is everyone this vain?
Anyway, I type in 'Kritty Uranowski' and nothing comes up, but they ask, "Did you mean 'Gritty Uranus'"?
I TOTALLY DID. I TOTALLY MEANT THAT.
Wait, what? My name makes less sense to the internet than Gritty Uranus does?
I never liked the name Kristina. Everyone always spelled it with a Ch. Polish people got angry that it wasn't spelled 'Krystyna'. I wanted to be named something more exotic. My mom wanted to call me Cassandra. Then I'd have been a Cassie? No, my parents never called me anything except for Kristina. My schoolmates called me Krissy and my brother (and a few sibling-like childhood friends) calls me Kris.
Kritty was an accidental nickname and here is the concise version of how it came to be, that I tell at least once a day, unless I don't meet anyone new that day.
Guy: Hi, I'm Malechor. (or whatever)
Me: I'm Kritty.
Malechor: You're pretty?
Me: Yes but my name is Kritty.
Malechor: That's unusual, what country is that from?
Me: It is short for Kristina.
Malechor: I've never heard that before.
Me: Well, your name sounds like Wes Anderson wrote it.
Malechor: There has to be a story behind it.
Me: On the first day of college, they were calling attendance, they said KRISTINA URANOWSKI, I said actually I prefer Krissy and the teacher (this lady, specifically) said "KRITTY? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA NAME IS KRITTY?" and it stuck. Malechor: I LOVE THIS SONG.
What happens when a nickname overtakes your real name and you don't really care about what name you identify with any more?
But my last name...my poor, little old last name. I can't change my last name, can I? There are not very many Uranowski's left, and my brother is doing good, world-changing things with his life and I think he deserves to carry the name on. Maybe I should change it to preserve the pride of my small & lovely family.
See, one of my bands got a nice little write up here:
But my last name is spelled 'Urinowski' in this article, and in another review or two on the interwebs.
Uranowski is bad enough. Urinowski makes me think of the time my roommate Ben drew a picture of big, fat cartoon guy peeing and wrote 'The Big Urinowski' under it --- this was after I told him someone called me The Big Urinowski in grade school and it really hurt my feelings.
I wanted to change it to Ultranowski. Kritty Ultranowski is really good. Is it too late to change it? Especially after all this?
Or should I get rid of the Kritty? Should I do Gritty Ultranowski? Kristina Uranus? Gritty Urinowski?
How immature am I that I cannot get past a little childhood trauma and a little misspelling to just enjoy some complimentary words about some music that I am very happy people are hearing and responding well to?
EVERY TIME I READ IT, ALL I CAN THINK OF IS BRANDON TOREZ SNICKERING WITH HIS STUPID FUCKING LISP
"THE BIG URINOWSKI! HAHAHA THAT'S YOU!"
Whatever, there are worse people to be associated with.
